A Few Helping Hands

This is a very long post and has not been proofread.

April 7, 2008 11:35 PM

Today I volunteered and had the chance to meet a wonderful, beautiful little girl. Her name is Melissa and she’s 7 years old. She is wise beyond her years. She told me that I had sad eyes. I told her it was because I was tired and she told me “No, it’s not I know the difference”. I laughed, but she was serious. I asked her how was it that she was such an expert on sad eyes and she said “because when people look at me that’s how they look” I then said “but I’m not sad looking at you” and she said “because you don’t know yet” and I said “know what?” and she said “that I’m going to die”. My heart dropped and it was hard for me to swallow what she had said, but I didn’t want her to see the change in my demeanor so I said “Stop it, no you’re not?” she said “I have HIV” and I said “well it doesn’t mean you are going to die and as a matter of fact you are going to live” she said “no, I’m not my mother told me I’m not because we don’t have money”. I grabbed her and held her close to me and told her that wasn’t true and she would live as long as she wanted and as long as she had hope. At that moment nothing mattered to me besides giving Melissa hope.

I wasn’t at an HIV clinic I was at a homeless shelter. I assumed I would go there and pass out meals and maybe do some cleaning or secretarial work I had no idea that I would meet people, hear their stories and feel connected to them.

Per Melissa’s mother she was born with HIV. Her mother Sandra was an intravenous drug user and a former prostitute who contracted the disease and passed it on to her unborn child. Thankfully she has been drug free and sober for several years. They have been living in the shelter for six months waiting for an affordable apartment to become available after a fire left them displaced.

HIV/AIDS medication is very expensive without coverage. Luckily they live in Massachusetts where all residents have access to healthcare whether we can afford it or not, this is one of the many perks of living here.

I didn’t want to come in there and act as though I was the HIV/AIDS expert and give Sandra a lecture about giving her daughter hope and not allowing her to feel like she has a death sentence. One thing I have learned is no parent wants unsolicited advice from anyone never mind a stranger and no one wants someone to come in and tell them what they are doing wrong.

I looked around and wanted to save everyone. I know I can’t, but I wanted to. I was trying to think of ways to help these two because Melissa was the first person that I had made a connection with. So, I decided to devise a plan. After speaking to Sandra I asked her if she was working, she said no because she doesn’t have any skills. I explained to her that everyone has a skill. I thought to myself whether she knew it or not prostitutes make the best sales people in the world because we are hustlers by nature. lol I asked if she knew how to use the computer, she said yes. BINGO. Ok, I asked if she knew Microsoft applications she said she is learning Excel now and knows Word. Great. I asked how many WPM she could type she said she wasn’t sure. I went out to my car and grabbed my laptop opened a word document and had her type a paragraph and timed her. She didn’t do too badly for someone who has never worked in an office. I knew I could find her a job. I asked her if she wanted to work, she said yes, but she didn’t have any clothes to work in an office and didn’t think she was smart enough. I asked her if she had 3 wishes what would they be. Her 1st was for her daughter to be HIV negative the second wish was to find a place to live and her third wish was to be able to support her daughter and herself.

Now remember I am at the shelter to do work not to politic (chit chat) with the people staying there, but I didn’t care because I was going to do what I wanted to do as usual. I told her that if she believed in herself and her ability to do well she could accomplish anything. Sandra is a high school graduate with a few college credits from a local community college. I told her I’d return by Friday to talk with her and extend my friendship. I made no promises to her, but I knew what I could pull off. 2 out of 3 wishes ain’t (I know ain’t isn’t a word) bad.

After I finished my volunteer work I immediately made a few phone calls. The first was to Penee I asked her if she knew anyone who would donate clothes in a size 8 (that’s my size (barely). You know I have TONS of clothes that my fat ice cream eating ass can’t fit in to anymore) because she was a buyer for a major department store at one time, so I knew she had connections and I also asked her for a cash donation. I called my friend Christine who is the owner of a beautiful salon located downtown and asked if she would donate her services for a makeover (hair (relaxer, cut), manicure, pedicure and facial) she agreed. I then called my realtor friend Camille to see if she or any of her colleagues knew of a 2-bedroom apartment in the city for less than $800. It’s almost impossible, but I believe that anything I want I can make it happen. I then contacted a friend of mine who is the director of a company that has a call center and he agreed to hire Sandra just based on my recommendation. I explained the situation of her having little work history etc and he said that she would receive excellent training and ample time to learn her job. Sandra has an interview on 4/21 at 10 AM where unbeknownst to her she will be extended an offer on the spot contingent upon a criminal background check and drug test. It was important for me to find a job for her that was T (public transportation) accessible, with FULL benefits 401K, Flexible spending account, Health Insurance, Dental, Vision the works and this one is perfect. Next on my list was childcare. I don’t have any children, but I have heard that childcare is a huge problem for single parents. I also have an associate (she’s not a friend I just needed to point that out. I don’t really like her) who runs a daycare out of her home, she agreed to take in Melissa everyday after school for 3 hrs until Sandra gets out of work (for 3 months) at no cost. She also said she would give Sandra information about receiving a voucher and other benefits that she may be eligible for to help pay for daycare after the 3 months has ended.

I called a total of 13 friends and family members for cash donations. I am so touched by the generosity that they have showed. I am crying writing this because I knew I had a great circle of people, but I had no idea how deep they were willing to give. I could’ve paid for everything myself from the money I made last weekend, but I wanted to pull my resources together and see what I could accomplish. So far I have gathered a total of $6,218 in cash, which will be collected on Thursday afternoon.

In less than 6 hours I have secured Sandra a job, childcare, savings and a makeover. The most important task is going to be getting them a place to call home.

April 10, 2008

Tonight I went to Wal-mart and picked up a prepaid cell phone with extra minutes from T-Mobile, a Green Dot refill card and a toy for Melissa. I went online and ordered two Green Dot prepaid Visa cards, one for me and one for Sandra in her name. Everyone needs a credit card, emergency cell phone and a bank account. If everything goes according to plan I am taking her to Bank of America to open up a checking account with $200 and a savings for $200. Her new employer has direct deposit and an affiliation with a credit union (I will put $300 in there).

My plan is to give her the financial security she hopes to have one day with her own money. Sandra is only 34 years old and I didn’t mention this earlier, but she is an extremely attractive woman. She could’ve been a model if things had turned out differently. My wish for her is to regain her self-esteem and dreams. She has her whole life ahead of her.

I’m feeling a bit overwhelmed right now and I’m not sure if I can really do this. What if I can’t find them an apartment? What am I going to do? I feel like crying...Ok, I’m crying.

Update April 14, 2008

Penee was able to get a few bags of clothing donated to Sandra for work in addition to the clothes I am donating. I also bought her 2 pocketbooks (brown and black) from TJ Max and a new Coach bag. Every woman deserves to have a nice bag in my opinion I’d die without my LV’s. My neighbor Justine held a clothing drive for Melissa at her job and most of the clothes are brand new with tags still attached. Good Job Justine!

Now, I have bags of clothing, a few pairs of shoes, pocketbooks and I still don’t have the main thing an APARTMENT for them. My goal is to have them comfortable in their home before Sandra starts her job and in an apartment by May 1st. I drove around (old school instead of online) Boston today and saw a few for rent signs in JP and Roslindale, but the prices were ridiculous. I’m not giving up, but I’m feeling frustrated and aggravated. I may need to involve some other people and if I do that this post will never see the light of day because I’ve already given too many details, but at this point I’m not too concern with sharing my story as much as I am worried about providing them with a home.

Update April 16, 2008

Today was Sandra’s makeover, she looked absolutely beautiful and I could see the change in her already. A woman needs to feel good on the outside sometimes to make the inside shine through. I gave her a suit to wear for her interview on Tuesday and the black TJ Max pocketbook and we went to Payless Shoes to buy a pair of heels (listen don’t talk about Payless I have some of their shoes and they are cute). Sandra doesn’t know about the apartment search, other pocketbooks, clothes etc because she needs to focus on one task at a time and I didn’t want to overwhelm her with too much information.

11:45 PM
I am starting to have anxiety attacks and I can’t sleep. I’ve been praying every night for God to give me the strength to pull through. I need to find them a place to live.

Update April 19, 2008

Camille FINALLY found an apartment that accepts Section 8 (a rental housing program for low income homes which Sandra is currently on the list for) the rent is $1000/month, but she was able to negotiate $800/month because the rent will be prepaid for the year and it includes all utilities, sh*t I need to move in there. lol Sandra and Melissa will be tenants in their new apartment in Boston on May 1st. ALRIGHT I’M BACK ON TRACK.

I never told anyone (except the daycare provider for obvious reasons) whom I asked for assistance that Melissa and Sandra are HIV positive. A. I have been HIPPA certified twice and understand the importance of privacy regarding ones healthcare. B. I didn’t want anyone to pity them C. it’s no ones business. D. Unfortunately, there are still ignorant people in this world that don’t know enough about the disease.

The money I collected from friends and family has been deposited in my account and we will meet with the landlord on Monday AFTER Sandra gets the job to show her her new apartment and if she likes it she will sign her lease. This is going to be a great surprise! I can’t freaking wait!

Updated April 21, 2008

Today was the big reveal. Sandra was offered a customer service position and will start in a few weeks when the new training class begins. We went to the apartment and she was in shock. She loved it! She was crying and thanking Jesus. lol I cried too. I love a happy ending. We went to the bank after signing the lease to open the accounts and then I dropped her off at the shelter. I hated doing it, but at least she has something to look forward to, a new job, day care for Melissa and a new apartment. Sh*t! I forgot to tell her about the daycare. I’ll inform her tomorrow when I call her on her CELL PHONE.


Updated April 22, 2008

Yesterday afternoon I was so excited about everything I had accomplished in less than a few weeks that I decided to treat myself with sex from TD&H. When I arrived I told him all about it and he raised the question about furniture. It never even crossed my mind. I’ve been so wrapped up in actually finding a place that the furnishings completely slipped my mind. I started to freak out and began having another panic attack.
I have a great man he saw me in distress and offered to pay the entire cost of the furnishings. I don’t know if it was the excitement, the tears or the heavy breathing, but whatever it was THANK YOU JESUS. Seeing him so excited for me made me realize how much he really cares about my happiness. Oh goodness I’m becoming a sap. We are officially back together (this week). We never did have sex because I was too worked up about the furniture and ran out to Target to start shopping for dishes and small things that I couldn’t get in the mood when we returned to his place. Now I know what my clients mean when they say their wives have so much going on that they are not as attentive as they once were. I’m turning in to an inattentive wife. lol

Sandra’s living room set was purchased at Jordan’s Furniture (they have the best customer service I have ever experienced. I am writing a letter to them it was so good) and the bedroom sets were purchased at another store and will be delivered prior to the move in date. Penee, Raquel (had to change her name) and a few other friends are going to help set up the apartment with me before the 1st so everything will be ready when they move in including food (my father purchased 3 $50 gift cards from Stop and Shop). Melissa’s room will be decorated in Hello Kitty décor because she loves Hello Kitty (courtesy of a Wal-mart employee I met while shopping and told her their story. This woman is one of Gods little angels), plus I have a brand new Hello Kitty TV in storage ready and waiting to be used. I am also a huge Hello Kitty fan.

Sandra and Melissa have taught me so many lessons about life, love and even things about myself such as patience and gratitude. I thought I was going to help them and change their lives, but really it was the other way around.

What have I learned from this experience? I’ve learned that most of the time people just want you to listen with an open mind. They want to be heard, they want to be respected and most of all they want to be acknowledged. Another thing I learned is that people even complete strangers will come together to help if you ask for it. As my grandmother use to say “A closed mouth don’t get fed ”. And finally, I learned that the truth can be seen in your eyes and mine say that I am sad, but today there is no sadness because they are filled with joy.

Thank you for reading. XOXO- Brunette Bombshell

Last update: Sandra will be making rental payments of $800 per month due on the 1st via money order. Each month I will pick up her money and invest it. The goal is to have enough money after a year; along with the financial planning I’m going to set up for her and with her savings to put a down payment on a home once her lease is up. Sandra does not know her rent has been taken care of for the year.