Jaden at Screenwriting For Hollywood gave me this Blog tag to write 8 random things about myself. So, here they are.
1. I know I’m the Brunette Bombshell, but last summer I dyed my hair blonde for 2 months. Blondes do have more fun.
2. I passed my Series 7 exam on the first attempt, but lied to my coworkers and said that I failed and only passed after a second try so they wouldn’t hate me because they b*tched about how hard it was and how many of them had to take it 3 times before passing.
3. Before I fall asleep I daydream about money. I know it’s sick isn’t it?
4. My favorite word is "CUNT". I get it from my mother, she says it all the time. lol
5. My father is handicap. It happened when I was 5 and I’m still traumatized by the accident. To this day I can’t talk about it.
6. When I am really excited about something and need to tell someone the first person I call is my mom.
7. My favorite show is Miami Vice. I can watch the reruns over and over again.
8. I have been corresponding with a client (I haven’t met) for several weeks via email and telephone and I have a very strange connection with him. It’s very scary and exciting at the same time. I have no idea what he looks like and yet I get butterflies when he calls.
Who’s Next?
Monique Renae
The rules (according to Brett’s blog per Jaden):
1. Each player starts with 8 random facts/habits about themselves.
2. People who are tagged, write a blog post about their own 8 random things, and post these rules.
3. At the end of your post you need to tag 8 people (or 2! I only had one since I don't read Blogs) and include their names.
4. Don’t forget to leave them a comment and tell them they’ve been tagged, and to read your blog.
- Brunette Bombshell
- United States
- Thank for for taking time out of your busy schedule to read about my CRAZY life. My Blog has people wondering who I am, but you soon forget about my "side" job as my real life takes center stage. *I have changed all names, dates and even some of the locations to protect all parties involved in my shenanigans. This Blog is strictly for entertainment purposes.
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21 comments:
GIIIIRRRRLLL.....My father just told me yesterday to stop calling people "cunty whores". I love the way cunt sounds. I hear ya! I'm having a moment (if its lasted a week is it really a moment?) I haven't "danced" in about 7 years and I was think about dusting off my clear shoes and my best friend has been talking me down (off the pole that is lol) so if you don't hear from me I'm out tryin on gold booty shorts breaking my poor mom's heart. And I SAW that demon of a video yu left for me!!! That girl was keeping the fuck up. That video was devil!!! LMAO
Diamond
Seriously Diamond, I cannot wait for you to come and post a comment. When I don't hear from you I'm sad. I laugh so freaking LOUD. "cunty whores" LMBAO
Diamond, why do you want to go back to dancing? Is it because you miss the adrenaline?
That video was something else wasn't it? That skinny guy with the black shirt did a Superfly Snuka move on her. The somersault. LOL Did you see the 4 guys at the end? LOL OMG. I'm bad. I'm telling you I'm going to hell.
You better let us know if you go back to dancing BEFORE you do it.
Ok, so in my sitcom you would be my neighbor. My sidekick. You and A. A would be the voice of reason. While you and I hooked (me) and stripped (you), A would tell us to get our asses to a real job. LOL
Ok, you just got my in trouble with TD&H (he's trying to sleep). You always do because I am laughing so loud.
BYE GIRL. xoxo-Brunette Bombshell
I went back to watch that video and I was LAUGHING SO LOUD He is putting me out of his house. I have to go home. Thanx a lot DIAMOND. It's 2:38 AM here. lol You Cunty Whore. LOL
Oh No!!! I didn't want you to get put out! I'm sorry! But girl at the end of the video when they have her like a wish bone is just fuckin insane! Where were her friends that mania went on for at LEAST 30 real time minutes. And she LOVED it. Hell=jamaica LOL
I would love to be your side kick, the side kick on the show always gets to do the crazy shit and this sense of humor that God gave me cannot be contained---you should see me live! Shit, funny and pretty, if only I could pay bills with that combo! Hence me going back to "work", you know what after you asked if I missed the adrenaline, I thought about it and that HAS to be it because I really don't have a really good reason outside of being bored to tears. and that my ass and legs have never looked better than when I was swinging that heinous red (yes bitch red!) wig around the pole. Shit where were MY friends, the last thing my black ass needed was a RED wig.
I have a few days to think about it. You and A (hey girl lol) will be the first to know.
xoxo
yours in cunty whoredom
Diamond
Deep and juicy.
Thanks diving in with us!
When I was a little kid, my mom recorded all the Miami Vice on VHS and was way into Don Johnson. It was a trip when I became a woman and worked on Don's last show... and learned way more than I needed to know about the guy! *wink*
Sorry it has taken my a few days to respond. I've been working.
Diamond,
You are sick "wish bone". lol I need a new side kick in real life too. Penee is away until the end of the month and I met Raquel's boyfriend the other day (had no idea she had one) and he's a professional athlete and they've been together for a while. I'm celosa (jealous), I have no idea why. Maybe it was because they looked so damn happy. No wonder she's never around much. Move to Boston Diamond, you can strip here. lol Just kidding.
Now on a serious note. I don't think you should go back to dancing because and hear me out on this, you will never stop. You become so addicted to the money, attention and adrenaline that you get wrapped up and before you know it years have passed by and you're still doing it, plus your feet get messed up in those shoes. I don't know you even though I feel like I do, but your too cute for that. I don't want everyone seeing my friend naked. I'm serious. It's not like it's behind closed doors where only you and your client are seeing you, but anyone could walk in to that club even your dad or his friends, coworkers ANYONE. Don't do it. If you decide to go back to dancing of course I'll support (by email and blog lol) your decision, but is it really worth it? Even in my Blog you can read my constant struggle between this business and my own morality.
Well enough of unsolicited advice from me. And if you don't quit it with the red wig I'm going to fly out there and give you a "V8" slap. lol
Kisses and BIG hugs from your big sister
-B Bomb
Jaden,
Everyone loved Don Johnson back in the day. I can understand your moms infatuation.
That's so cool that you worked on his show. I've noticed this myself when I have a personal and sometimes "professional" relationship with people in the limelight, that they are never what I expected and sometimes just a big disappointment. I kind of wish I never met them, so I could look at them in the same light that the rest of the world does.
Have a blessed day. XOXO-Brunette Bombshell
Wanna laugh? I almost signed this with my real name. lol
Where you been! I missed you! If I was going to shake my tail feather again I would have to do it Boston I can't do it here in LA and going home to dance again in San Francisco is most definitely OUT! I WISH my daddy would go to strip club just so he can get some ass and stop calling me 8,500 times a day! Get a hobby and take my mom with you! This only child stuff is serious business.
But I rethought the whole thing and I am really just too lazy to strip. I don't want to be the girl who left and came back to that life.I have all that leo pride stopping me. And you are right I AM too cute to be there. Hell its dark in there a face like this needs to be seen!and I honestly had beed focused on the wrong stuff. I'm supposed to be in LA working on my stand-up. The Devil is busy.
You are my internet BFF, you know this right!!! If we lived within in 50 miles of each other it would be over. Over I tell you!!! LOL
I know that jealous feeling that you had with your friend R. Its indescribable. Its not even that you're a "hater" its just... you know.
The boyfriend and I maybe close to done! He calls himself not talking to me until I apologize to him
about a fight we had a week ago. A fight where HE ws in the wrong. I hope he likes silence. Cuz I WISH I would apologize. Boy Bye! ole allergic to diamonds(wtf) vegetarian ass--- go eat a ham sandwich!
I'm off to go find a real job! Keep your fingers crossed or I'll be on sugardaddy.com tonight.
Be Good
your (internet) BFF
Diamond
P.S.
I'll say what Jaden won't. Don Johhnson used to come into the club that I danced at and he is a complete coke head and screwed anything skinny with fake tits and dark hair. don put alot of girls through college. I doubt that his wife knew.
Ok Diamond we really are connected I was just talking about you to my new client (the one I haven't met). I sent him one of my blog entries. I have been in Connecticut, no place to write home about.
Oh SH*T you just came with the FIYAH! Leave my Don alone. lol I believe it though.
I am so happy you decided to reconsider dancing. You are too good for it and you should be a comedian (seriously). I wish I was out there to cheer you on. You are funny. I talk about you like I know you. I am too attached. You're my internet BFF too and yes we would be off the hook if we lived nearby. My dad gets on my nerves too when he calls me a million times, but we need to be grateful that we have fathers because many of US don't.
I'm glad you understand that I'm not being a "hater" and I am happy for them, but I guess it's because I haven't found that someone special who makes me light up like that.
The boyfriend: Get rid of him and he's a vegetarian? He couldn't be around me because I love steak, that's all I talk about on here is got damn Abe & Louie's. I need an endorsement deal. lol Seriously though, follow your heart. If you love him, stay with him and try to work things out, if not move to Boston and do your stand up here with your new size 11, yes ho size 11 I am a freaking size 11 BFF. I need some motivation because obviously people do not care that I am thick. I went from an 8 to a 11 in less than a year. That's sick. What's sicker is people tell me I look better. Whatever.
I'm so proud of you. XOXO- BFF Brunette Bombshell (this signature is suppose to be getting shorter not longer CUNT) lol
Okay... Obviously my black ass ain't left the house. I do love my dad but DAMN! I'm gonna break the fingers of the person who taught him how to send text messages.
Yes girl that fool don't eat meat little does he know that I have made him alot of shit that had bacon in the recipe and picked it out of his plate.His ass is on ice until further notice.
I'm not mad at the size 11. I'll race you to a solid size 13 bitch. I'm on my way to an 11 last night I was in full fatbitch (all one word) mode. I was laying on my back fucking up some glazed doughtnuts. Bitch i woke up this morning ad was rubbing my neck and white shit kept flaking off, bitch I had glaze all in the creases of my neck and all on the side of my face!But you can't trust people who say that you look better bigger. Because in a year when you've lost some weight they'll be saying they didn't realize how big you got.
K, I'm really leaving. I'll do my best to keep you off the haagen daz and you'l remind me to find an agent who doesn't want to try my panty puddin!
xoxo
cunty whore #2
(you get #1)
p.s I need more info on this mystery client.
You are so freaking funny. I added a voice comment box. I was laughing while reading your comment. This is my real HORRIBLE laugh and I was really laughing that hard. Now do you see why TD&H kicked me out? "Panty puddin" OMG Glazed are my favorite. I love the way you talk you sound like me when I'm with Penee I wouldn't dare let anyone else hear me speak like that. LOL Please leave me a voice message so I can crack up.
I told him (client) you wanted to know more about him, he said "what are you going to tell her". lol He is so into this. lol I'll do a post on him after we meet next saturday. Let's just say he is ready to move me close by him in to a townhouse.
Hi BB, I'll be back to comment later but I wanted you to see this:
http://www.wpbf.com/news/16255951/detail.html?rss=wpb&psp=news
Thank you A.
Oh my goodness this little boy is bad. The grandma said "I know what causes the behavior, cause all he's ever seen was his parents do physical and abusive and verbal things." And while I understand that as well, he would have received an ASS WHOPPIN WITH THE BELT BEFORE THE POLICE ARRIVED.
I know, I know parents who hit their children only encourage their kids to be violent. I know the argument, which may be used in this case, but I don't buy it. If they started to discipline (not necessarily physical) him at an early age he would have known better than to steal cars and beat up his grandmother. I want to go down there now and kick his ass. Shit I'm not working and I do need something to do. lol
He doesn't have mental issues, his ass is just BAD. Therapy would be good, but you know "us" we don't like going to the therapist. Why? Because black (and Hispanic) people do not want anybody "all up in our business" which is just foolishness. Sad but true.
BITCH!!!! Somebody beat me to this foolishness. I wanted to leave my voice message but my boyfriend's sister has been in my face all day.
His grandmother should have whooped (yes WHOOPED!!) his ass with the bag of chicken wings little fatfucker (all one word).
Shit I ain't working right now either, but I bet I would work that 7 year old blubbery ass. We should tag team on his ass. And you are so right he IS NOT crazy, he is a little menace and somebody has been leting him get away with shit for the last 7 years. The last thing he needs is a chicken wing, get his obese ass some tofu and a salad, chicken wings are the reason he looks like that right this minute. Just a fat 7 year old goon.
But girl, this was the real story I wanted to share with you. I'll give you the readers digest version. I read in the paper that a woman had been invoved in a drug raid and she gave up the drugs and weapons in the house, but, are you ready for this, they did a body cavity search, are you ready, and this bitch had a motherfuckin blackberry (the phone NOT the fruit) lodged up her snatch! How? thats all I want to know! How?!! especially if the raid was a surprise how do you ram a square phone up there? I need a diagram please!
Okay pretty, I'm done ranting and getting ready for top chef!
xoxo,
your cunty whore sister!
ps. you have the best laugh ever, I need to figure out how to make that my ring tone, that laugh made my whole day :)
LOL I am laughing now. I hate my laugh. When I recorded that I did it while reading your post. I was laughing at what you wrote. You are so funny. I couldn't stop laughing. I start off alright and then I get hysterical. lol I am so DAMN LOUD. YOU ARE SO DAMN FUNNY.
You are just like me, you get crazy. OUT OF CONTROL as Mariah says "OOC" Maybe your boyfriend needs to have him (the little boy) come live with him to go on a vegetarian diet and your house on the weekends to get ass whoopins. LOL I am cracking up over here. I am cracking myself up. I am going to hell!
Wait a minute, she had a Blackberry up her "cooter" (Raquel's word). I need a link please.
Tell your boyfriends sister to BEAT IT! I want my message. I want to laugh. I put it up there for you. I'm like a little kid over here waiting for your message so I can laugh. LOL
I just got yelled at. F*ck it, he's not putting me out I'm leaving.
I love Top Chef. I watch it religiously. I like the guy who uses all those crazy devices. He is so talented.
I 'm going to post everyday just so you can leave a comment. OMG I've got to tell you what the hell I did yesterday then I'm going to laugh my ass off and leave this b*tch. This is a email I sent to someone today WTF is wrong with me?:
Last night I went online and almost purchased my own engagement ring. LOL seriously, I did until I realized that I have expensive taste and couldn't afford the damn thing (thank god I'd have to make up a fiance and I would do something like that. I have people who think I have children living in Arizona. lol), but I could've bought a cheaper one the clarity wouldn't have been good, but who cares because "technically" it wouldn't have been a real engagement ring. I told my friend about that and she was laughing so hard she almost got in to a car accident because the tears from her laughter started to make her vision blurry. Whatever and the thing is I don't even believe in marriage, but it's that time of the year where everyone is having babies and getting married and the flowers are beautiful and I can't stand it! Penee (my best friend) is on her way to St. Lucia right now for a wedding and even she's married (to an immigrant won't get in to it for legal reasons) and although they are not together EVEN SHE'S MARRIED and my other friend Chanda has a (white had to put it in there) boyfriend that practically lives with her in her house. And Raquel is dating an NFL player who wants to marry her. where am I going with this? Oh, ok I remember I was watching Platinum Weddings and that's what got me started. Pay me no attention. I need to blog about this and give my readers a good laugh instead of venting to you.
LOL I am SICK. Make me laugh girl, get back in here. I need to set up a chat room. Oh wait I have im Yahoo brunettebombshell617. Everyone is free to chat with me. I'm going home right now. I'll be there in 30 mins.
XOXO-Cunt #1
OOOhhh this sounds so shitty as I'm typing it, but the little fat fuck would be going on a vegetarian diet at my boyfriends MOMMA'S house! Did I leave that out? Yes, he is still at his momma's. Just send me another V8 slap, hell send 3! I know better. I think when I got with him I was tryin to fool myself into believing that i wasn't materialistic. Well I fail that shit, cuz I LOVE STUFF! And the boy would get skinned alive over veggiestankbutt's house (who I haven't spoken to in a week... more later) because oh yeah, he doesn't like or want kids! What am I doing! Ugh!
I am DEAD at you buying a ring OVER THE INTERNET!!! I understand it though, I just want a big pretty bauble. And girl everbody IS getting married and having babies. My biological clock sounds like a chinese meditation gong! I almost bought two puppies today! Lord take me higher!I would marry an immigrant too shit. i believe in all that fairy tale bullshit. i want to go to the islands and get married! i want the NFL player boyfriend who wants to marry me.All I got is a dude who lives with his mom and thinks marriage is blahblahbah, I'm to fly for this shit! But back to you i am laughing so hard about you on the internet buying a cloudy ass ring that I had to bring the laptop into the bathroom with me cuz I don't want his sister asking me whats so funny (NOTHING, Get your own friends!LOL)
Platinum Weddings is the devil and Who's Wedding Is It Anyway? is its mistress, those damn shows will have you craigslist looking for your soulmate!
Who are these bastard children in Arizona? And by the way there is no "technically" it wouldn't be a real engagement ring! IT'S NOT a real engament ring! LMAO if shit keeps going like this I'll marry you,I'll cook and make you laugh and since I don't mind your line of work you can bring home the bacon and be pretty. So tell TD&H to shut his piehole. If he keeps getting mad about you laughing I'm gonna have to... i don't know what yet, its the best laugh ever he is trippin!
Tomorrow I'll be able to leave a voice message, sis will be gone by then.
I will be IMing you, my real name comes up but i don't give shit.
yours in wanting a pretty ring bought with someone elses check,
diamond
You are so funny. I am home now. I said to him "how the hell do you want me to move in and I can't laugh?" He said "do you want the association to kick us out? You are too loud. It's late people have to get up in the morning!" I said "OK" and left without saying goodbye. I don't care I always have you and my mystery client. LOL This is the email he sent me today "Did I ever tell you that when I wake up in the morning the first thing I do is check my BB to see if you sent me one of those late night emails. I wake up thinking about you, I work during the day thinking about you and I go to bed at night thinking about you. What do you think that means?"
LORD me and the men. I should just run off with my client. He's not technically a client because I haven't accepted his deposit yet. Funny thing is I don't want to. I almost called him tonight to tell him I'm coming over (he's only 3 hrs away) to watch a movie. Have I lost my mind? Not as much as you, dating a mama's boy. You need more than a few V8 slaps, you need a body slam and brain surgery. I need to train you (not to be a whore). You and my sister, you two are suckers for love.
Yes, yes I almost bought an engagement ring over the net and fronted (pretended) like I was engaged. My psychics (SHUT UP!) all told me that I am suppose to be getting married this year to a (insert occupation). TD&H does not have that occupation, PLUS he can't stand my laugh and I can't stand him anymore. I want to laugh LOUD. No one told his ass to live at the ****. Buy a house douchebag (a bostonian term), so we can scream like Nas and Kelis. lol
Craigslist, OMG I have a friend who found her husband on there and they are happily married.
The bastard children in AZ are...Oh I'll tell you that on IM. It's funny and crazy.
Fine lets get married. I live in MA it's legal. lol At least I'll have companionship and a shopping buddy.
OMG we are twins. I was thinking about getting a dog today too. A Teacup Yorkie and then my father said "you don't need a damn dog, you are not responsible enough for a dog. As soon as that dog shits on your white rug you are going to want to get rid of it and you can't do that. leave those damn dogs alone. Find a man and have a baby. You just want a dog because you're lonely." I guess he told me huh? LOL
Just make up a new IM, it takes 2 minutes.
You know what? I need to get back to my real life. You people have me wondering about your person lives, drama and children more than the people I see on a day to day basis. That is horrible and all of you know me better than them. You should read my emails. You think our comments are funny? LORD you should see the emails. I probably have about 10-20 a day. Penee says I need to shut down the blog. I can't I'd miss you guys. The internet is the devil as you say.
XOXO-B B
And a special shout out goes to:
Hey KaliKutie you can join in any day now. (wink)
Okay. Get out of dreams and into my car! I almost bought 2 teacup yorkies yesterday but my friend that I was on the phone with told me that I would come home and my dogs would be dead because i forgot to feed them! I then immediately went across the street and got my cards read! Honey, I love love love pyschics.
I swear we are like living in some parallel universe, because my boyfriend isn't talking to me because I walked out of his house and didn't say bye, kiss my ass or nothing after he ticked me off last week. and if somebody has a problem with anybody laughing they are an ass! I pay alot of money in rent every month I'm laughing at whatever time i want too! The association can kiss it!
And i don't know where this sucker for love stuff came from in my old age. Until this guy I was not going out with anybody who even remotely could be broke! dudes without a checking accountor enough gas money used to make my skin break out.
if Td&H keeps acting like a fucker I say go for the client and the townhouse, The best relationship i ever had was with a guy a met at the strip club. We dated for 7 years.The sister is still here, but when she leaves I'm gonna leave a message, because her brother is picking her up from here and I smell a real niggalicious day happening! The sad part is I don't really miss him yet, he probably thinks I'm sitting around singing "No Air" or some shit!! This is going to be good!
I have to read your blog about indifference now and say something profound!
xoxo
cunt #2
Diamond we are twins. I'm on IM now. I just logged on.
"niggalicious" LOL remember we have to be conscious of what we write here because we have "other" people reading this. lol I guess it's too late for that huh? lol
TG&H told me that I was immature and have no consideration for others. He's probably right. I agreed with him and I'm never speaking to him again. Mature huh? LOL
Hi BB,
You and Anon (nice to meet you lady) are too damn funny.
Anon, why did you call that little boy a fat goon, I have to use that on somebody.
And BB, I wouldn't say get a real job, if your happy, I'm happy.
Oh hell who am I fooling, I would say have a plan B, but we all have a plan B.
Enjoy the weekend ladies.
A,
Where the hell have you been? What, you only think about me once a damn month? Forget it, how the heck are you going to be one of my co-star on the sitcom if you're MIA (missing in action)? lol
We are crazy. I swear I feel like I write this blog for you guys. I initially started writing it as therapy for myself I didn't think I would have internet friends and funny conversations.
Penee called me today and told me she was going to shut down my blog. I have to see if I can change the password. She is jealous of YOU GUYS. LOL I mean HELLO you are in St. Lucia why are you worried about my internet friends? If I was there I wouldn't be thinking about me, I'd be getting some of that LONG DUCK DONG from one of the locals. LOL
A don't stay away too long.
XOXO-BB
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