I'M BACK

I wrote this in mid October I thought I posted it, but I passed out immediately after I wrote it. It saved though, but I haven't been online since then. Can you believe we have a black president? I still can't. So, here is the drama from October. I have new drama for November and this week, but I'll give you time to catch up on this shit. I never made it to my ultrasound appointment, so I won't find out what I'm having until the 23rd of this month. Kalicutie I received your email, thank you for checking on me. Luv ya girl. Here's what I wrote in October:

Where the fuck do I begin? Well, I suppose I should begin with a heartfelt thank you to all of my readers for your prayers and support. Thank you and I also want to remind everyone including Penee that all comments are welcome whether we agree with them or not. It’s a damn blog. It’s not breaking news on CNN. lol

I’ll start where I’m at now and work my way back to the beginning. Currently, I’m living with one of my parents because I needed care 24/7. This morning they took me off of the iv and I am now eating and drinking on my own. HORRAY!I won’t get in to how one of my kidneys is fucked or how sick I was or how they have taken more blood from me than a fucking vampire or how I went to 4 different Dr’s to admit me in to a mental institute, but they all declined because I wasn’t crazy I’m just pregnant and my hormones are out of wack or how my 39 year old aunt was diagnosed with a rare aggressive form of breast cancer and truly believes that the Dr’s on Cape Cod are just as good as the ones in Boston. HELLO stupid we have the best hospitals in the country in Boston, especially for cancer. Errr. People from small towns kill me when it comes to shit like this. Get to Brigham and Women’s or Beth Israel or Mass General ASAP or how my little brother, my baby who scored the highest in the state on his MCAT and has been offered full scholarships to any college in MA and was suppose to attend a program Harvard has during the summer for gifted high school students (didn’t go this summer because he BAD ass was kicked out of his previous school. I’m not one to talk since I went to 3 different high schools in 4 years) because he is so damn smart was SHOT, yes you heard me right SHOT like he’s in the movie Boys In The Hood living in Compton, CA or South Central or some place ghetto like that. He’s just like me smart as hell, no he’s smarter than me because I am not good in Math and Science and he’s good at everything, but chooses to do the wrong thing. I get it, but I don’t because the children he goes to school with have no options, their parents are probably not involved in the education, they aren’t fortunate like he is and they sure as hell don’t get everything they want like he does. They do the wrong things because they feel they have to, but he doesn’t. Whatever, his black ass is just BAD, if he wants to be 2pac and 50 Cent then he is going to have to learn the hard way. Let me stop talking about that because I’m going to get mad as hell and this happened almost 2 months ago. Oh, he’s fine and has a 8 pm curfew that comes with a PROBATION OFFICER. I wish Willie McGinest was still with the Patriots because he’d sit down and have a serious talk with this little fucker and he’d listen. I miss you Willie, I have no one to interrupt me anymore when I’m trying to get a damn date and you come over talking about “Ah, is everything ok over here? Are you alright?” scaring mutha fuckers off. lol I hated it then, but I miss it now.
Anyway, I can’t even get in to all of those things because it will take too fucking long to write those details, so I’ll mention it and move along.

My baby is fine and doing well. I saw it on the ultrasound a few weeks ago and I hyperventilated, yelling, “Take it off the screen! Take it off screen!” I was already stressed out for crying out loud, seeing the baby really almost put me over the edge. My mom is holding on to the ultrasound photos until I’m ready to look at it. I figure I’ll wait for 3 weeks when I have my next ultrasound and they are able to tell me the sex. PRAY FOR A GIRL and PRAY that she looks just like me. I don’t fucking care if it’s shallow, no one wants an ugly baby. Honestly, I just want it to be healthy and happy, nahh I want it to look like me too who am I kidding.

So, after I left the hospital this morning I went back to my place and was greeted with an EVICTION letter. Oh, it gets better just hold on to your seats. I have a grand total of $55 in my accounts TOTAL SAVINGS AND CHECKING. Oh wait, I have a credit union I have $30 in there. I’m fucking loaded. You’re wondering where the fuck all of money went huh? Oh, I’ll get to that shortly.

When I was dying sick and couldn’t shower on my own Claudia had called me several times and I never returned her call. Finally after 6 messages from her and 100 texts I called her back and told her I was pregnant and dying she told me she would call me back because she was at breakfast. 3 hours later my phone rang and she asked for me address to put in her GPS system because she was in Boston at Logan Airport and on her way to my house to take me to the emergency room. lol I couldn’t believe it, but I didn’t know how good of a friend she was until she arrived. My Puerto Rican neighbor had to let her in to my building and apartment because obviously I wasn’t capable of doing it. Before I continue I have to tell you that my Puerto Rican neighbor has been GOD sent. She checks on me everyday and has been a great support system. Who would ever think I would get that from her, especially since I couldn’t stand her prior to this, by the way she says that I am finally happy. Isn’t that nice to hear? lol So, Logan is about 40 minutes from my house when you don’t know where you are going, so I wanted to at least get cleaned up before Claudia arrived, so I attempted to get in to the shower. BAD IDEA after 3 minutes I was on the shower floor in the fetal position because I ran out of energy and was throwing up all over the place, it was disgusting. Claudia arrived and immediately took off her clothes (so they wouldn’t get wet) and began shaving my armpits and legs, washed my entire body and my hair and cleaned up all of my puke. It was all done in complete silence. She then helped me out of the shower and on to my bed, lotioned my body, powdered my cooter, put on my deodorant and plucked my eyebrows without me having to ask her or tell her what I needed, she just knew what to do. I really wanted to cry because this was the greatest act of kindness anyone has ever shown me. I couldn’t cry though because I was too dehydrated, even speaking was becoming a problem for me because it took too much energy. Claudia dressed me, got me in to the car and to the emergency room. I was there for 6 hours on an IV, she stayed with me the entire time, drove me home, tucked me in to bed, called my mother and returned back to NY that evening. I love her and I have not a doubt in my mind that she loves me because what she did was pure love. People like Penee, Denise and others who are suppose to be my real friends have been MIA (missing in action) and are so unreliable that it frustrates me to think about them, so I don’t. I’ve discovered that my true friends are 2 hookers and a stripper and I’m being serious. My other (hooker) friend has been paying a few of my bills for the last few months without any questions and as I mentioned above my neighbor stripper has gone above and beyond for me and she has 2 small children of her own to take care of in addition to a full-time job and stripping at nigh, but she still manages to check on me and offers any assistance that I need including flat ironing and blow drying my hair, although I haven’t taken her up on that because you know how I am about my hair.

Let’s see, so I found out I was pregnant and was ecstatic. I mean I was over the fucking moon. I called everyone I knew to tell them and they were as happy if not happier than I was. It’s been a long road for me and the subject of children. I was told by several Dr’s it wouldn’t happen and this year I have finally come to the realization that it just wasn’t going to happen and I would have to adopt which was fine with me and then BOOM I get pregnant by a man that I DID use a condom with (it broke) and only had sex with once. lol Pure comedy. Diamond are you ready to start writing the treatment? lol So, needless to say everyone who knows me knows about the children situation and were thrilled with the news. Typically, most people would want to know who the father is, how did I meet him etc. the funny thing is no one even cares, no one asked except my parents, but even they haven’t pushed it. I had to tell the truth though, I had sex once and don’t even know the person well. lol My mother wanted to die and my father just shook his head, but they were still happy because well it’s a baby and a baby we never thought would come so who cares how it got here. The father was excited and wanted to get married when I told him I was pregnant. Uh, listen pal I don’t know nor do I even like you. One weekend was enough for me now thanks for the baby and fucking beat it! I’ve been so mean to him that last week he finally told me to lose his number. I was so happy, that is one less stressful thing in my life. I’ll contact him after I give birth, until then I’m FUCKING FREE FROM AGGRAVATION. YAHOO!

After I delivered the good news to everyone I made the one call I was dreading to the head bitch. I called to share my news of a miracle and a blessing with her and she immediately reminded me that I had appointments all month (Sept) long and I should be sure to pack saltines. Has this bitch lost her mind? Did she really think I was going to continue going on dates with my child inside of me? Yes, she did and once I told her to cancel all of my appointments and that I had to retire the shit hit the fan. She told me that I needed to either get an abortion or work until I started to show. I told her to fuck off and hung up the phone at this point I was physically feeling fine and going about my business. I had already left my day job because I was returning to grad school. My birthday arrived and I received in the mail the Italia Vogue from July The Black issue I was raving about along with an invoice for $500,000. Oh yes, you read the numbers correct FIVE HUNDRED THOUSAND DOLLARS. I can’t explain to you the details on how she came up with the figure, but it is accurate, actually technically I would owe more because I have a few exclusive contracts with clients meaning they only want to see me and I was paid in advance, so they were owed money back, plus cancellation fees and since I was booked throughout NEXT year that shit adds up quickly. I had to move things around, but I managed and sent her the money the following Monday and then I got sick and shit went down hill from there, so that is why I am broke. What is so funny about this whole thing is I’m not even worried about it. I should be, but I’m not. It’s just money right?

I’ve since heard from the head bitch and she told me that if I agree to return to work 6 months after the baby is born she will give me all of my money back, plus a bonus and she will pay for any plastic surgery needed along with an Au Pair and will make sure that the client pays for the Au Pair’s accommodations and airfare so the baby will always be with me. What a deal huh? I declined. You see I loved being a whore, trust me it’s the best damn job I’ve ever had, but being a mother is going to be the hardest job I’ve ever had and I’m not going to fuck it up. In my opinion it’s ok to take risks, like going overseas with no money and getting in cars with strangers in a foreign country when you don’t speak the language or flying all over the world with clients who at any time can become obsessed with you and possibly kill you or quitting your job at the drop of the dime because you want to, but you can’t do that shit when you have children at least you shouldn’t because it’s not worth it. How can someone explain to your child that you are dead because of a stupid AVOIDABLE mistake that you made? I’m not willing to take that chance.

I changed my cell phone number and haven’t looked back. It’s not even tempting for me to go back to that life because I have something so wonderful to look forward to. Even when I received my eviction letter today it didn’t even dawn on me to think oh man if I only went on one last appointment or maybe I should take the head bitch up on her offer. Nope, not even for a second, it’s not worth it to me. I mean, come on I have some fucking morals and ethics.
Can you believe that before I starting seeing a private Dr. and was going to a clinic they suggested that I sign up for food stamps? Hell no! Not because I have too much pride, but because if you are an able body (and I will be very soon) you should get a damn job. Yeah, I know there aren’t any jobs (lol), but McDonalds is always hiring. If you are working and you need welfare and food stamps then I think it’s ok TEMPORARILY. Yes, I sound like a Republican and I don’t care. Speaking of Republicans can you guys believe this Palin chick? I’m bullshit. Out of all the women in the US and John chose her. I will never understand it. You lost me John, you really did with that one. If you would have picked Romney I could roll with you, although I’m voting for Obama, but Palin are you nuts?

Anyway, I’ve been writing this for almost 3 hours and my energy is LOW so I have to go. I’ll be back soon because HELLO the drama is just beginning. One last thing, be sure to vote.

Love you guys soooo much. XOXO-Conchita the Brunette Bombshell

PS Adrianna I love your name. Too bad I already have names picked out. If it’s a girl I’m naming her after my favorite singer and you already know who that is and if it’s a boy I’m naming him after one of my readers because she has a unisex name. It will be easy to figure out who it is and no I didn’t do spell check and I’m not proof reading this bitch either. I’ve put enough effort in to this post to last until December. I’ll be back way before then. –Adios Amigos